Lockbox (3/30)

you visited me in my dream
last night
but you know this already
don’t you

it is kin to a monthly counseling session
where we sit down
and I bare my soul
for a good 45 minutes

it seems as if I need to purge

need to lay down
upon the soft couch of my subconscious
staring up
into the ceiling of our everything
recounting in detail
all the reasons
I miss you
as you sit quietly
scribbling notes into a book
I will never get to read
symbolizing thoughts
I will never get to hear

I’ll be sure to schedule
our next appointment
on my way out

it seems this
is the only way to reach you
is the only way to see you
is the only way to get you
to hear what I’ve been trying to say

or maybe it’s you

reassuring me
that you are here
that this be confidential
that you be a lockbox
with a key only I possess
should I need to
unlock you

and I need to

need to ask all the whys
need to hear all the becauses
need to hear your voice
before I forget it
again

it hurts to wake this way
remembering your face
from a photograph that doesn’t exist

reminding myself
it was just a dream

it was just a dream

it was all a dream

wasn’t it…

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